Care Partner of Adult
Independence vs. Influence
November 30, 2021
in Care Partner of Adult
My son is now 23 years old. His UC journey officially began at 9 years old when he was finally diagnosed after years of bowel issues. He had his colon removed at age 13 and lives with a J-pouch and residual effects of UC in the remaining portion of his diseased rectum. As he has come of age, I've found it challenging to continue offering my advice and opinions without crossing the line of his desire to manage it on his own. He also is on the autistic spectrum and manages mental health issues, and so is not always the best judge of his own habits (in my humble opinion). I'm curious to know if anyone out there struggles with the same issues of balancing influence with your now-adult child's need for independence.
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Not really the same but my son is 14 he lives with bipolar and I worry when he turns 18 how he will manage his medication and doctors. Yes I will guide him but legally He can do what he wants. I think having a solid relationship with their doctors and teaching them to advocate for themselves really can help.
Patient
I feel like I'm having conversations very similar to this with a lot of my friends who are parents lately. Parenting is hard, dude.
Also..I am not a parent so take this with a grain of salt.
I think the best thing you can do for your son is to just remain a constant source of support. Offer him guidance knowing he may refuse it but be there when he needs help with something. Young adulthood is so weird because you definitely think you're an adult but you don't know basic stuff like how to make eggs. lol
Pushing him one way or another will likely lead him away. I'm sure its really hard to hand off management of his care. As long as he's safe and mostly healthy, it's a good time to coach from the wings. Only if he drops all the balls and isn't taking care of himself, would I step in.